What do you do when you have little annoyances? Good girls swallow them, put on a smile and pretend nothing is the matter… Or they pout, whine, and act like a martyr. Neither of these are healthy reactions when something is bothering you. But, do you gripe about every little irritation? That may be nit-picking and not helpful in your relationships…
To me, there is a balance between speaking up about what isn’t working and breathing through it, focusing on what does work, and asking myself, “Is this really important? Does it affect the relationship or is it something I can overlook–really overlook, not just stuff it down by repressing my feelings?”
I once had a friend who seemed to get angry or annoyed at almost everything out of my mouth. She wanted to bring it up, discuss and process everything. She was a high-maintenance friend, exhausting to be around… and not fun! I, being the good girl, used to cower, worry, and walk on egg-shells attempting not to set her off, because I was afraid of her anger. I got her anger no matter what I did. Finally, I realized I couldn’t be me; that this wasn’t a healthy relationship and I ended it in as conscious of a way that I could, asking my spiritual teacher for help.
Now, as I find myself in sticky situations where I find myself annoyed, I seek the balance between all that is good in the person I’m responding to, and checking out inside whether the issue is a big enough one to bring up, or if I’m being petty.
What is most important is being true to me; making sure I don’t swallow my feelings of hurt, anger, or frustration, and at the same time feeling the love I’m capable of feeling in the moment, even when I’m feeling otherwise! An interesting place to be… I do my best to be in that love at all times, even when I’m feeling those little annoyances. How ’bout you?