In ancient cultures, rituals, celebrations, and ceremonies were a part of daily life. Life revolved around the seasons, the sun and moon, and life cycles. Somewhere in our modern culture, we’ve let go of the rituals that denote important events. Other than birth days (including baptism, if done), marriage, and death, we’ve forgotten how to honor the passages of life in a way that marks that experience in our hearts, minds, and souls.

Whether it’s a loss or a gain of something new, there are emotions that you go through that are a part of this transition, and the ritual, celebration or ceremony, helps you process the letting go of the old and acceptance of the new.

Emotions can be the same whether the event is considered positive or negative. For example, you would normally think that a person losing a loved one through death would be sad and/or angry that they feel left alone. They may, however, also eventually feel joy at their new found freedom, or relief that their partner is no longer in pain.

In getting married, you may feel joy, exhilaration, and love. And, you can also feel anger or sadness at letting go of your freedom, or family name (if you gave that up to take on your spouses) or moving into a new house—or for a variety of reasons—even if you know without a shadow of a doubt that this is the best thing that happened to you in your life!

Our emotions are the guide lines for letting us know how well we’re coping. It is normal to feel all emotions in any transition. It will take time to heal, no matter what the transition is. It’s only when you get stuck in any one emotion that you may need help. That help can come through a professional or friend… and through creating a ceremony to help you acknowledge your new state of being.

When you create a ritual to respect an event in your life, your psyche understands on a deep level that you are entering a new stage. This helps you move forward, while at the same time not denying the past. If you want to pretend that your loss (whatever it may be) is “no big deal,” you may end up pushing down those emotions that would normally be felt and/or expressed. They can then fester and lead to internal stress, which can sooner or later lead to illness.

Consider the major transitions you’ve experienced in the last several years. What did you do to acknowledge and accept these changes? Have you completely moved on from all of these events? (Or, for example, do you still hold anger at an ex-partner or boss?)

What can you do now to release your past and move on with joy and certainty now?

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