Most people start to get worried—even downright frightened—when they look in the mirror and first notice the gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging skin, or receding hairlines. This experience is now happening to the baby-boomers—the largest segment of our population. The reason that we’re seeing record numbers of face-lifts, use of special creams, and health club enrollment is because we’ve bought into the media’s obsession with youth. We’ve bought into the belief that we’re no good and “over the hill” when we reach a certain age.

What’s sad about this lack of respect for aging is that it hasn’t always been the case in our history, and it still isn’t in many indigenous cultures today. Elders can be revered, respected, and looked to for their wisdom—if we stop believing what advertisers are convincing us is true… that you can only be successful and happy if you are young. There is a wonderful sense of agelessness that you can achieve simply by adhering to the basic principles of living and loving life fully.

Acknowledge the Good and the Great

How can you stop the fretting over your next gray hair (besides dying it, of course)? You can give yourself and your peers the kudos you that both deserve. In other words, acknowledge all the great aspects of life, the accomplishments, how life is better now than it was before. It’s easy to focus on the mistakes and the regrets in our lives. But if you choose to look at each mistake as an opportunity to learn, then it really wasn’t a mistake at all—it was simply a step on the road to success. Finding a lesson and discovering something new from life’s ineffective times can make your life rich with meaning.

Instead, make a list of all the things you’ve accomplished in your life, all that you have and all that are now. Realize that you’ve gained wisdom when things went wrong and be proud of your achievements. Celebrate your successes, even the small ones. Not only is this fun, but it helps create a momentum of optimistic feelings.

When you focus on the good in life, you will not only feel better mentally, you will positively affect each and every cell in your body. Every time you have a thought (positive or negative), it causes a chemical change within your cells. This, in turn, can affect your immune system. Upbeat thoughts bring positive, healthful changes to your cells. Worrying about your gray hairs does not!

Enjoy the Moment

While it is wonderful to remember the past fondly, it’s important not to dwell there. Usually, if you spend too much time reminiscing, you can get caught up in comparing today to “the good ‘ol days.” Today often can’t compete when compared to the romanticized past.

The same is true for worrying about your future. Yes, you must plan certain things (retirement, vacations, etc.). These are appropriate to think about for the future. But if you spend much of your time worrying about “what if,” you are losing the preciousness of this moment. By simply concentrating on this very instant, you can see the beauty, peace, or loving connection waiting to be enjoyed. Living life one moment at a time—fully experiencing all that life has to offer now—is another key to feeling ageless.

When you are able to genuinely accept that you are aging, you will increase your peace of mind. When you believe that the changes you are experiencing make life different, but not worse, you will find more joy in everyday life. Who says that stretching before playing a sport or exercising is bad? Who says that needing to go to bed earlier is negative? These are simply different ways to move through your life experience. They only are bad if you put that definition on them! Begin today to reframe your experiences to allow them to be good, but different; not terrible.

It all comes down to the perspective you choose to have about your aging and your life. Remember to live each moment as is comes without worrying about the future or comparing today to the past. Acknowledge the wonder, the good, and the positive aspects of your life now. Accept that you are changing as you age. Knowing this doesn’t make it worse, only different. These are some of the principles of agelessness. They can help you live and love your life fully no matter what our culture may assert.

Suzy Allegra, entrepreneur, artist, and author of How to Be Ageless: Growing Better, Not Just Older!, and Where’s Your Organization’s HEART? Questions to Propel Your Business to Greatness helps organizations pump up their bottom line and expand their heart through employee retention. Through her art-based presentations and other media tools, clients learn how to lead more productive and fulfilling lives. She can be reached at: (602) 331-3929; toll-free: (866) JOY2AGE, or email: suzy@suzyallegra.com

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