Three Notes on Agelessness
Experience Your Emotions
Usually when you first recognize a symptom of aging, you begin to worry, feel depression, sadness, anger, shame, fear, or anxiety—emotions that society tells us are negative. Those feelings are all normal. There is nothing wrong with any of them. When we lose something—anything, a job, partner, etc.—we feel loss. The emotions of loss are real and it is actually good to experience them. When you can acknowledge, accept, and express those feelings, you can move through them—to the other emotions of transition and change: joy, peace-of-mind, contentment, excitement, compassion, love, gratitude, trust.
If you find yourself unhappy about aging, let yourself be in those emotions—just don’t stay focused there. Beat your pillow, hit tennis balls, pull the covers over your head and cry or scream, if you need to. Release those feelings and appreciate all that you are now; all that you have done with your life; and all that you have. When you stop and feel the gratitude for all that your life is now, you will be able to let go of the unhappiness, fear, or anger at aging.
Accept the Truth
When you are able to genuinely accept that, yes, you are aging, and see this for what it is, you will feel much greater peace of mind. When you believe that the changes you are experiencing make life different, but not worse, you will find more joy in everyday life. Who says that stretching before playing a sport or exercising is bad? Who says that needing to go to bed earlier is negative? These are simply different ways to move through your life experience. They only are bad if you put that definition on them! Begin today to reframe your experiences to allow them to be good—different, yes, but not terrible.
Make a Commitment to Agelessness
When you make a commitment to living your life fully—to doing those things that excite, renew, and put joy into your life, you will be ageless. This step should not be taken lightly. Sometimes we make commitments, but they are only superficial ones. As an example, think about the people you know who recycle. Which ones don’t seem to care if they miss some days, or throw a bottle into a general trash can? Which ones are passionate recyclers—those who carry their trash out, if need be, to make sure they go into the correct bins?
That example illustrates the difference between two kinds of commitment—the superficial and the iron-clad. What kind of a commitment are you willing to make to have the life you want? Are you willing to speak up for what is important to you? Are you able to harness the willpower you will need to keep going when there’s been a setback? Agelessness is the gift you receive when you give yourself a strong commitment to live the life you want—not the life your parents, spouse, or culture wants you to have.
It all comes down to the perspective you choose to have about your aging and your life. Remember to acknowledge all the good in your life and live each moment as is comes without worrying about the future or comparing today to the past. Accept that you are changing with age—and know that this doesn’t make it worse, only different. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions of change and loss, then make a commitment to growing better, not just older. When you do this, you will be able to experience the joy that can be yours at any age. These are some of the principles of agelessness. They can help you live and love your life fully no matter what our culture may assert.
