Being Your Honest and Authentic Self
When you think of a Hollywood star, a pitchman, or a used car salesman, what first comes to mind? Certainly not authenticity, I would guess. Yet, being honest and authentic is the first and foremost way to being happy.
Why? Because when you are not who you really are at your deepest level—trying to fake it, hard-sell a product you don’t believe in, or doing something to keep up with the Joneses—you are not living in sync.
What living in sync means is that all of you—your body, mind, heart, and soul—is congruent with the other parts. To use an analogy, when you are a well-oiled piece of machinery, your life is a joy.
When one aspect is out of kilter, that part is like a gear, bent out of shape, and it’s grating on the other parts of the machinery. If you don’t fix it, it will eventually (if not immediately) cause a breakdown. In the meantime, it’s also causing unnecessary wear and tear.
Health practitioners today believe that 70-90% of all illnesses have a stress related component. That stress is the non-functioning gear. Stress shows up for a variety of reasons, and an important one is when you are living a life that doesn’t work in some way or another. That is being out of sync.
Take a quick assessment now and be brutally honest about which aspects of your life are working, and which are not. Rate each on a percentage basis: 0% if it isn’t working at all to 100% if you are so happy that you wouldn’t change a thing.
Aspect of Your Life |
Percentage of Happiness |
Primary Relationship |
|
Family |
|
Friends |
|
Career—Purpose |
|
Home |
|
Finances |
|
Hobbies / Free Time |
|
Contribution / Volunteerism |
|
Health |
|
Spiritual Life |
|
Now comes the hard questions:
- Why don’t those parts work? (By the way, any answer is correct, except if you are blaming someone or something else)! In other words, what are you doing that is stopping you from enjoying and being successful in that arena?
- What can you do about it? (Hint: You may not be ready, willing, or able to do something by yourself. You may need support). Are you open to getting help from others? This can be physical help, as in building the deck you want; mental help, as in working with a career coach to find a new career; emotional help, as in working with a therapist to help your relationship; or spiritual help from a minister, rabbi, others in a spiritual community, or meditating to find your answers. Are you even willing to admit that you can’t do this alone? (That may be a big one for some of you!)
- Most importantly, now, what is stopping you from taking that bold step to live in sync? (In other words, go make that call, or find that resource, without hesitation).
This assessment will help you get on track for living an honest and authentic life, but only you can take the first step. Be bold. Choose one area—only one to begin with—where you are the least authentic, the least happy and yourself. Find one way to tweak that arena just a little bit so that you can begin to live the way you were meant to be… in joy, with purpose, and at peace. Then make the commitment to continue the tweaking until you reach greater satisfaction in that arena. Do the same in each area until you realize what an amazing life you live!
