Five Steps for Handling Stress
1. First of all, identify what the cause of stress is. It may be caused by more than one event, person or situation. Write the stressors down if necessary. Realize that it’s not these people or the situation itself, it’s your response to it that creates the stress.
2. Ask yourself what you can do right now to eliminate or shift this issue. Work with trusted friends/loved ones to brainstorm creative ideas for removing or minimizing the stressors. Do not give up until you have some useful ideas/plans for lessening the stressors and/or its effect on you. (Time may be a healer for some of your stress. Realize that patience may be needed here).
3. Next notice where in your body the stress is showing up. Is it a headache, muscle tension in your shoulders, back, feet? Take five to ten minutes to stretch or massage that area. Move slowly, doing shoulder rolls, neck circles, bending over to stretch your back etc. When you move and stretch, keep a clear and concentrated focus on stretching and releasing the tension held there. If it is a headache, massage the area of pain, as well as your neck, or press your temples with both index fingers. If you are worrying about what you should be doing and thinking that you are wasting you time doing this exercise, you are. In that case, don’t do this part. You are not getting the full benefit of the stretches, unless you are really focusing on the movement and the releasing of your stress. Remember to breathe deeply and slowly while stretching. (Often people hold their breath when doing something new, like stretching in a new way).
4. Follow the stretches and massage with either lying down in silence or with soothing music. While lying down, let your mind wander to a beautiful serene place. This can be a real place that you’ve been to before or a completely made up scene. Breathe slowly while you stay with the picture of this peaceful setting. You can also do this part before the stretches and massage. You need only a few minutes to do this. Of course, you can do this for a longer period of time if you wish, and receive more benefit. Experiment to see what works best for you.
5. If you have time, take a nap, meditate, walk in nature, or soak in a hot bath. These types of nurturing activities can make a world of difference in your stress level. The relaxation that occurs from them can actually increase your productivity if you are now working with aches, pains, anger or frustration from your physical stress.
Read books on stress to learn more about other activities to do for specific types of physical stress.
When the stress occurs, use the five steps above to help release the immediate tension and to solve the problem producing circumstances. Remember that all situations and events, both exciting and fear-producing, can create stress. You can’t eliminate stress completely, but you can do things to lessen the stress and prevent some of it from occurring. By paying attention to the points made, you will help yourself in living with less stress.
Helping Children Deal with Their Stress
Anything that you do for yourself, such as stretching, lying down and visualizing peaceful settings are great for kids too. Make sure they get enough time and space to run and play because the physical exercise is stress releasing, just by its very nature. It is also important to talk to your children about their stressors. Though they may not use the word, “stress,” kids have people and situations in their lives that may cause them to be worried, afraid, or angry. These are their stressors. Help your children identify the causes. Aid them in brainstorming creative solutions. Teach them to relax just as you do it for yourself. Last of all, be honest with your children. Tell them when you are feeling stressed. Children are like little radar screens, so if you lie and say “everything is fine” when it isn’t, your kids will know the truth anyway. As you become a less stressed individual, you will, by example, also be teaching your children to do the same.
